Getting started

A blank page is too demanding, because you feel a need to say something really clever, funny and meaningful to make your mark. A blank page spreads in front of you in all its frightening purity, and the black letters are all too visible when they are all too few.
With a couple of friends we travelled to experience the U2 concert in Zagreb a few weeks ago. They all had seated tickets, and I was the only one with a stading ticket at the field. Everyone was all too woried about me going all alone in the crowd, they tried to hook me up with some other friends, so that I had a company. I had to be really sneaky to escape all this concern. Because I really wanted to do this by myself, and experience my most favorite band ever by being a single atom in a huge crowd of exulted fans.
It felt incredible to feel surrounded by the heat of hundreds of excited bodies, just inches from my own, to hear the cries and singing of a thousand voices in my ears, and yes to have a totally singular experience within the deafening crowd. It was a totally extatic feeling, yet the carnival experience did not consume me entirelly, and all the time I could feel exactly where my own exultation began, culminated and ended.
Mintes after the concert died, I felt almost drunk with elation. In a relly funny state, in which you kind of expect that something trully remarkable should happen to you to make this moment genuinely memorable. Every person I met in that moment, every word I said, every laugh I enjoyed still stick in my memory, and I revisit them, as an inseparable part of the concert itself.
Sharing what I just experienced with total strangers around me made it so much more special. I was actually happy that there was not a single friend with me at that moment, because I could enjoy a totally different vision of myself, and experiment with who I was, right there, right then.
This incredible music totally transformed me in 2 incredible hours. All my friends thought I was crazy.
So, was my going alone to a concert the emanation of solitude and alienation; or was it a really special moment of idependence?