It's been an especially gray day today, cold, rainy and cheerless; so I tried to protect my downsized spirits by cozing in a comfortable big shaw, drinking a bottle of red wine, and, of course, watching a romance. I have a theory about romantic love, proven to a certain extend by my own experiences.
I have noticed that we tend to experience a big crash-boom-bang when we are going through a hard period of our own lives. Whenever I an extended period of crashed self-confidence, unsatisfactory social life, and work-related routineness, any unexpected, out-of-the-box meeting with any funny, above-mediocre, ok-looking guy send flutters down my stomach. I don't fall head over heel with him, of course, but I kind of expect him to fall for me, and come to my rescue... and introduce me to a piece of magic in an overall unmagical world.
So imagine that he does, and imagine that he is even half as gorgeous as you pre-imagined him to be, and you also begin to feel something for him - and there it is, the perfect formula, the perfect romance. Most of its beauty happens in your own head, most of the time, it is your own imaginaiton filling in the gaps...
Unfortunately, this kind of love is flawed at it very heart, because it stems from your weaknesses. From your mutual desire to live out a fairytale, in which someone devoted, and caring, comes to your rescue, and changes the world for you... And then you forget, that it is you who should change the world, and bring about the incremental differences that would make you a happier and more accomplished person. No one else should do it for you, no one else should place the plate with the ready dish on your table...
So, differently from a great romance, a great love will come to you not when you are down, and feeling bad about your life, and will come when you are flying out high, egoistically creating a world of your fashion, building and doing, and making, and loving yourself above anything else. Only then will you recognize love as what it is. The scary urge to compromise your fears and sterotypes, in order to become a little more perfect for someone else. No saviors, no tears, no ending your life for him... just the pure joy of becoming a better person and doing it together with someone else.